OK first you’re being a total dick right now,
I’m in this weird stage where I don’t really like myself, but I don’t really care anymore
when you grab his shaft, yell “pull the lever kronk”
true friendship is talking about masturbating and it not being weird
(Source: mombies-littlemonsters, via a-star-p)
my anaconda dont want none unless you got funds hun
I’m afraid I’ll never finish college. I’m afraid I’ll finish college with student loans I can never pay back. I’m afraid I’ll get a degree and won’t be able to find a job in that field. I’m afraid I’ll get a degree, get the job I dreamed of, and hate it.
— A Mental Illness Happy Hour listener whose list of fears matches mine four for four. Glad I’m not the only one.
(Source: insensiblenothingness, via not-all-victories)
taurus: money laundering
gemini: con artist
cancer: psychopathic killer
leo: violent protest leader
scorpio: cult leader
sagittarius: pick pocket
pisces: drug dealer